Thursday, August 18, 2011

From the Future

      On this day 20 years ago..........

     The first American manned mission to Mars was hailed as a success for the United States, that is until the discovery was made that China had covertly beaten the U.S. to the red planet by no less than five years.  China has since claimed ownership of Mars and has taken steps to turn the planet into the rubber dinosaur toy capitol of the solar system.

     The Church of the Velvet Elvis led by Pope Jimmy Holly was able to obtain samples of Elvis Presley's DNA paving the way to creating the first Elvis clone.  He stated that the second coming of Elvis was finally becoming a reality and soon the world would be "All shook up."  Elvis 2 is now 19 years old and has been rumored to be dating famed Disney star Annabeth Morgan.  He has also been to Celebrity Rehab twice to date.

     Harry Potter Day officially became the first international holiday.  Within five years it's popularity has  dwarfed all other major holidays.  Currently, the world holiday committee has stated that they are working on a "Burn a Teen Vampire Romance Novel Day".  We at Solar System Wide News wish them the best of luck.

Disclaimer:  No vampires or vampire novels were burned during the writing of this post.


  1. "No vampires or vampire novels were burned during the writing of this post."... which is a real shame.

  2. @Steffelophagus Yeah, I didn't want to upset the hordes of teenage vampire/werewolf lovers out there, I mean, it's really more like a disease than something they chose right?

  3. Your sensitivity seems to be boundless- amazing restraint, too. I'm often the 'ask questions later' kind of guy and would have trouble being so zen-like.